Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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