I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
