Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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