i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
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Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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