There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
