I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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