Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So squirting runs in the family.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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