Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
