when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
