ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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