There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize