when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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