The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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