i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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