there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
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Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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