I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
