I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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