call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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