dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
