I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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