So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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