I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize