Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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