there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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