That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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