there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
