its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
