Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
