My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
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Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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