be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
