Duck Duck Cougar?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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