Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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