You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
