Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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