a queef is a wish your heart makes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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