I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
