doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
