let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
