I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
