I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
