On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
