Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
