I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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