and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize