we have pet lesbian snakes
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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