I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
