apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
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I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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