The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
