Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
