Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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