Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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