I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
What a dumb baby whore.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
