The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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