I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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