Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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