Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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